


return to me, the you of 2000 years ago

by rilakkuma5



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: ? - Freeform, ?? - Freeform, Angst, Coping, Drabble, F/M, I just finished 138 and I am currently despairing, Implied Relationships, Oneshot, Romance, Shingeki no Kyojin Chapter 138: A Long Dream, Shingeki no Kyojin Chapter 138: A Long Dream Spoilers, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan Manga Spoilers, Spoilers, coping mechanism lol, why do I continue to have hope tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 18:40:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29970639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rilakkuma5/pseuds/rilakkuma5
Summary: "Eternal return is a concept that the universe and all existence and energy has been recurring, and will continue to recur, in a self-similar form an infinite number of times across infinite time or space."———Eren and Mikasa return to the them's of 2000 years ago.(MANGA SPOILERS)
Relationships: Mikasa Ackerman & Eren Yeager, Mikasa Ackerman/Eren Yeager
Comments: 2
Kudos: 48





	return to me, the you of 2000 years ago

**Author's Note:**

> Uh, so I just finished 138, and uh, I'm so sad, and uh, can someone send some good, heartwrenching angst (but with like A LOT less despair than the manga) my way. Like, uh, idk a yearning fic...just to see them yearn and it goes the right way even if it only goes the right way in the last sentence...but like pls just some good oldfashioned angsty longing and yearning that ultimately gets fulfilled bc wtf was THAT (It was good though, but like damn, is nothing sacred to you, Isayama?)
> 
> Jokes aside, this isn't really anything special lol. Just me coping by choosing to believe that eternal recurrence applies here. Like what if they just pull a Darling in the Franxx, like what then *blushes* or like what if *slow pause* he just starts over...and like...DOESN'T kill everyone
> 
> I'm sure if it was canon it'd be like...eren starts over....never breaks the cycle....doomed to repeat the same mistakes forever....until the end of time...dying a virgin :( in every life...

* * *

"Someone once told me time is a flat circle. Everything we've ever done or will do, we're gonna do over and over and over again. And that little boy and that little girl, they're gonna be in that room again, and again, and again, forever.”

\- _"The Secret Fate of All Life," True Detective, Season 1 episode 5_ "

* * *

If they were different people, they could run away. If they lived in another world, in another reality, maybe they could choose just each other and run off to a cabin and live a sad, short life together. It would be as peaceful as peaceful can be when you’re dying and running from both a war and people that are desperate to capture you. It would be too slow in its artificial peacefulness, it would end far too quick. And Mikasa would be alone.

“Please forget me.” He begs. But how could she? How could he?

He’s sitting down by the side of their cabin, when he could’ve sworn they were hugging, one last embrace before he goes. It’s only been two months, he has four years left—why were they hugging? Where is he going? He feels so warm, his eyes are closing and his skin is tightening. He shouldn't need to shift, they left all of that behind. He thinks there’s something he must do, he’s not supposed to be here either. There’s somewhere he must go.

Between blinks he sees Mikasa, smiling sadly, red scarf as bright as ever despite the blurring of his vision.

“See you later, Eren.”

Ah. There is something she must do, then, too. He is unable to respond but he's sure she'll return to him. 

* * *

He understood it well, the moment it occurred, and he was sure she understood, in the same instant. Her eyes are sad and remorseful, but she never falters with her blade. _Good, do not hesitate._ Their bond is so deep, tangled within and out of themselves, from the moment he wrapped that red scarf around her neck and tied her to him. It’s strange that he’s just realizing this now, the point of this all, in the last seconds of his life. That a thousand years into the future, a thousand more into the past, they exist in this same way, stand in this exact same position and there is nothing that can be done, no curse that can be broken, just a cycle to repeat, a message to write and send forward and backwards, that brings them once again to this penultimate moment. And he spent so long pushing her away, just for—there is no time to regret, he thinks, as the blade comes down to his neck, he will be seeing her again, anyway.

* * *

“Eren, wake up. You fell asleep.”

His eyes open to Mikasa standing in front off him, wrapped in a red scarf just like in his dream. Or were they hugging? Or fighting? There was a cabin, and a sword. Bodies that he cannot recognize. So many of them. The details elude him with each passing second, until all he can remember is Mikasa. 

“Your hair has grown. What happened to your scar? On your face?”

Aside from fingering her hair, she does not show any confusion. “I don’t have one. Why are you crying?”

He touches his face, and is surprised to find tears. He wipes them away. “I feel like I just had a really long dream is all.”

The sadness he feels is unexplainable, the intense deja vu even more perplexing. “Have we had this conversation before?”

_A million times between now and before, after and always._

He’s not sure where that thought came from, or what it even means. His head hurts and Mikasa flickers under the sun.

She stands up. “No. Let’s go home, Eren.”

Her scarf blows behind her in the wind. He follows.

**Author's Note:**

> I def did not do this theory justice bc it's so interesting and this is just a lame pairing oneshot bc im SAD OKAY but let me know if you liked this ok bye bye now <3
> 
> (sidenote: red scarf....red string of fate...I do believe he comes back for her I do...I do)


End file.
